Hi!! I'm Mya, and I'm the webmaster of this site. I enjoy watching shojo anime and playing otome games. In particular, I love the game Obey Me, and I'd date Mammon in a heartbeat!! (character not the actual demon lmao). I like collecting a multitude of things such as self help books, plushies, cds, miniature houses and even feathers!!
I hope that you can find comfort in my website (and coding html/css) like I do. I want this to be a safespace for all of us. Feel free to browse my website for as long as you like :3
| Mya is... |
| angel, asexual, bi-romantic, boy hater, cute, esoteric |
| Who are you? |
Interests - animanga, religious studies, angels, developmental psychology
Hobbies - divination, gardening, coding, painting, reading, playing chess, visiting flower gardens
Collections - cds, crystals, feathers, cherished teddies, plants, liliput lane houses, nendoroids, stickers, plushies, books, seashells, sticks, seaglass, rocks
I love angels! I also love pondering. I've annotated the Bible to the best of my ability, and I'd like to get the Qur'an. I also have the Bhagavad Gita, which I have yet to get stuck into. I'm not sure what I believe in yet, but I know there are things beyond us. Angels are neutral beings, even demons I think are quite neutral themselves.
I also love anything second hand! I don't get why reusing is a problem for people. I love owning things that have previously given others joy, especially worn in books, teddies and fleeces.
I love the summertime a lot as well. I enjoy bike rides, picnics, walking my dog and just being outside (which is funny considering I'm such a hermit). Gardening is quite theraputic to me. I enjoy touching fresh soil, as weird as that sounds, knowing that a small amount of care can help a plant flourish. I mainly grow vegetables, but when I'm older and I have a chateau somewhere in southern france with a neverending garden, then I'll gladly have a flower garden. I told my nan that I'd make one in her memory when she passes. I think it would be a beautiful way to remember someone.
As much as I love video games, chess is definitely way better. I'm not that good at it, but it's fun!!
10k - Ever since I first watched Z Nation in 2018, I've been head over heels for Tommy! I've rewatched Z Nation about 3x now, and he just gets cooler each time. He's introverted, prefers a few close relationships, and is an absolute badass sniper. Also, I love his relationship with Doc so much. I'm probably Nat Zang's 2nd biggest fan, number 1 being Gracie Gillam of course!
Edward Nygma - When I say Ed has my heart, I mean it. I love everything about him. I especially liked his relationship with Lee. I'm not particularly good at riddles, but I don't think Oswald is either, so hopefully I could at least be friends with him. Also, we're both intp 5w4!!
Mammon - He isn't even a crush, because we're literally engaged. He's so mf cute, and let's be real, he's 1000% the best brother. We literally share the same birthday, so it must be fate. I've been simping for him since roughly June 2021, when I started playing Obey Me.
29/08/19 - launderette in spain. roughly when it was bad, but not as bad as lockdown. going there made me feel oddly happy. i enjoyed hearing stories from my nan about when she was younger.
30/08/19 - when it was bad, i was also brainwashed in a sense. i read the bible a lot. it didn't help the rut i was in.
20/01/20 - i always used to google the spiritual meaning of the sky, to see if maybe god was watching me, telling me it would get better.
15/03/20 - i used to do volunteer work, and before i went i usually got a starbucks. the same person served me each time, and they always decorated my cup like this. it made my day so much, it made me happy. thank you stranger, if you ever find this!
11/07/20 - my mum forced me out of my room and we went on a long walk and saw some cows!
12/09/20 - went to london for my birthday!
02/12/20 - a cool picture of a sunset i don't remember taking lol
10/09/21 - went for a walk on my birthday, found these mushrooms and got drenched by the rain.
26/09/21 - my legz in da car. idk where we were going?
06/12/21 - waxing cresent i think?
06/12/21 - cardcaptor sakura
06/12/21 - me and kie. i finally got friends again after isolating myself from everyone.
28/12/21 - played league with kai. i was obsessed with him back then, i remember being so embarrassed because i kept dying.
25/03/22 - styling my new yuri nendoroid whilst watching kamisama kiss. i think i felt quite numb back then.
26/03/22 - went to a witches town, and found deity statues. they had a morrigan statue, but i didn't buy it :(
26/03/22 - flowers i got for really cheap. some were for my mum and some were for my altar.
01/04/22 - my lucky charm. i see this cat a lot but we haven't been able to engage with each other yet.
14/04/22 - gabe's cat
19/04/22 - dog sat dexter the sausage dog. he fell asleep on my plushies and also did a fat wee on my bed.
20/04/22 - mr gibbs yawning LMAO
22/04/22 - new shinobu nendoroid
23/04/22 - playing omori!! just started searching for stuff in humphrey.
24/04/22 - shadow >:)
27/04/22 - legz >:D
02/05/22 - mr gibbs falling asleep with my plushies, just like dexter did.
06/05/22 - tree :0
07/05/22 - did an outside murder mystery and wore a csi t-shirt whilst doing it. it was so fun!!
07/05/22 - winnie sitting stoicly during our outside murder mystery
09/05/22 - i think i was coding when i took this?
13/05/22 - 333 under yung lean post
(CW: mild obey me spoilers, TW: mentions of m/rder)
6teen
Fish Hooks
Phineas and FerbI'm not sure what to call my practice, but i do know that I've been doing it for just under a year. A multitude of things have led me up to this point, such as religious crisises (involving extremism) at the ripe age of 16, untreated depression, and angelic delusions. I'll definitely speak about religious extremism as well as conspiracy theory rabbit holes in future blog posts. For now, i'm just going to share my experience with witchcraft.
I'm not pagan or wiccan, i just practice witchcraft. I mainly do divination, but I have done spell work and hexes before. Ever since I was 13, I've collected seashells, crystals and many other nature related things. It's what made me happy. When I was 11, I experienced manifestation for the first time ever. I got up every day saying that I was going to get into a certain secondary school, and I'd even accompany this by wearing red socks all the time, as red was the colour of the uniforms. Then, boom, I got in (not that it was hard to). I had fully believed that I would. It makes me so happy to think about it. Spell work is just ingredients + intention. Basically manifesting on drugs.
My first mistake, and blessing, was that I did a love spell as my first proper spell. It was super basic. I had asked my pendulum exactly when I should do it. I sat down on a sunday with pink post it notes, a pink water bottle and a £1.00 primark vanilla scented candle, and repeated the same two lines both in my head and out loud for a solid 15 minutes. I kid you not. Then just like that, I forgot about it. I forgot that I did the spell and carried on as normal. One sunday later, and I had recieved a love confession from a boy. I was gobsmacked. We then had a date on 04/06, a friday!! The relationship only lasted for a month, but again, it was proof that it works!! Aphrodite's day friday 4th as well :0
Anyways, even before that I had been using tarot cards. Everything they said would be right, and it still is. I've had a few difficulties with pendulums though. At first, i was blown away. I had just finished reading the angel bible by hazel raven. I had a little suncatcher ball thingy with a bit of elastic hanging from the top of it, and I asked it questions. I wanted to know more and more. i learned a lot about my guardian angel. I became a little obsessed. I learned his name through automatic writing. I was so dumbfounded by it all. Then I went on a pendulum walk. I walked for a solid 3 hours, through fields and woodland areas. I was led to a dead rat. I wasn't sure at the time what that meant. As I was walking back, my left ear rung, which I now know means from the higher self if it's high pitched. I had trusted the pendulum a bit too much at this point, and was led down the rabbit hole that one of my neighbours who is bald and has 2x golden retrievers was going to die and be found in the bush where my ear had rung. I cringe when I look back at this. I haven't seen him since to be honest, but again I haven't seen any headlines saying that a bald man has died in a bush so...
Then I met "Hades". I'm not sure how I found out that they were calling themselves Hades, but i did. They wanted to work with me, but i asked if i could research them a bit, so i would know who i was dealing with. Then they were kicked out by my guardian angel lmao. Like i kid you not, i was trying to get back to "Hades", and my guardian angel intercepted. I was annoyed at the time, because I didn't realise that it was a trickster. But now I'm truly grateful. It taught me two things. One is that I needed to up my protection and two is that I wasn't a fan of pendulums. They're good for occasional, short questions in my opinion, but not full blown conversations. For the latter, I prefer just talking to them in my head.
Non spiritualists/witches etc. must've read that and pissed themselves. It's how I communicate with deities, angels and my higher self. With messages, they're usually blunt but enlightening. Sometimes it's cool just to ask questions. Aphrodite is very polite at all times, and uses "darling" and "love" a lot, whereas Apollo is harder to describe, but I just know when he's there. I haven't heard my angels yet, i don't think so anyways, but I do hear my higher self whenever I'm upset.
tbc...
Tw: depression, s//c!de, s/h
I discovered neocities in mid march 2021, and i was in love! My first website was called kaidouswh0re, after Shun Kaidou from Saiki K. The design was basic af. It was pink and had a pochacco png on the index. There was a grey sidebar where mewtwo, squirtle and pikachu lived alongside the navigation links. Those were the days when i didn't even know what the br tag was, and just relied on the gaps that p tags gave, to divide text. I plastered something along the lines of "I've promised myself not to leave this earth until my website is static", and it was everywhere. Every page you clicked on, it would say that in the left hand corner of the screen. Not as anything as a means for concern, but just as a little reminder to me as I was coding.
I have struggled with depression since roughly 2018. It got 1000x worse in lockdown. I ended up cutting off 1/3 of my hair and I had begun to s/h. Obviously camhs were taking the piss, and my endless amounts of journals i had kept throughout 2020 and 2021 weren't getting me anywhere. I genuinely thought i had nothing to live for anymore. And then boom, neocities :3
No but seriously, everytime a "bad" thought dared to enter my mind, I'd switch on my sorry excuse for a laptop (which was practically falling apart), and code for as long as my mouse would let me. I poured everything into that crummy website, and I treasured it. Recently my dad told me to stop messing around coding html as it wasn't going to get me anywhere, and told me to delete this website. Luckily he didn't know the name of it so i deleted kaidouswh0re in it's place. RIP kaidouswh0re 2021 - 2022.
Anyways, ever since I started in march 2021, I haven't stopped. This doesn't mean I'm tremendously amazing at it, because I'm not. I just jump on here, put in a few divs and lazily slap on some css and be in my own little happy world. Coding freely like this sparks so much joy for me!! I'm not judged on here. I'm just me. I love seeing other neocities users websites as well, so i can learn from them and potentially improve. I really hope whoever reads this finds as much joy from coding as I do. :)
fin.
vent
I've retyped this line about 5 times so far as I'm not really sure how to make it coherent. I love the idea of love. I used to daydream a lot about being in relationships, and I still do, just not with the same naive rose coloured lenses. I have always wanted to meet someone that just gets me, someone I could go to and fit well with. Others seem to think I'm extroverted and confident, when really it's just a facade to get people to like me. When I go back to my normal state, people think I'm depressed. As soon as my own insecurities slip through from behind the mask, people become almost shocked, and I don't get why. My relationship patterns are abnormal, probably because that's how I grew up. I get close to people to then alienate myself from them. I've done it to 2 different friend groups, online friends and exes. I love the idea of love, but when it comes to it, I don't think I can love someone. I want to be loved without having to love back. I'm exhausted with trying to love. When I get crushes, they're not just crushes. I become obsessed, and it consumes me. I lose myself. In romantic relationships, I give 110%. I exert all of my energy into that person.
I have an idealised version of how people should be when in relationships - typical leo venus. Jokes aside, it has made me ignore blatent red flags and gotten into situations where I was being used.
tbc...
Apparently today I felt the need to be condescending and explain asexuality to you guys. In all seriousness, I'm pissed off at the amount of people I've met where I've had to explain it to them. Obviously it's not their fault, but I'm making this little section on my blog to help educate those that don't know about it or to deepen your understanding of it. Maybe after reading this, you might resonate with this, and find yourself falling somewhere on the asexuality spectrum!
If any fellow aces want to add/edit things I have said, then please message me!
"Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity."
(source: wikipedia)
Firstly, you need to know that asexuality is a spectrum. Some ace people can feel sexual attraction, but it may not be frequent or as intense as an allosexual person. Some ace people feel no sexual attraction whatsoever.
Secondly, asexuality doesn't mean abstinence. People who are asexual can still have sex, believe it or not. Asexual people can still have a libido and sexual desire. Linking back to my first point, since asexuality is a spectrum, some aces may have an interest in engaging in sexual activity, whilst others don't. Even people that may lack an interest or desire for sexual activity may still have sex. This could be to show affection, to become physically intimate, to satisfy libido, or to just experience sex itself.
Thirdly, being asexual doesn't mean that you're broken. I've had a few people tell me that, and/or ask me if I was doing okay. Asexuality isn't something to be ashamed of. You're not broken for not wanting to/having the ability to sexualise people?? (no offence allosexuals). Being ace doesn't mean that you "haven't found the right person" either.
Black represents asexuality
Grey represents grey-asexuality and demi-sexuality (these terms are explained in the asexual umbrella section)
White represents allies and non-asexual partners who give support to the community
Purple represents the asexual community as a whole
(source: blog.flagwix.com)
Asexual - someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction
Aceflux - someone with an orientation that fluctuates between no attraction, some attraction, and a lot of attraction
Acespike - someone with who rarely experiences sexual attraction for a short period of time and then return to not experiencing sexual attraction
Aegosexual - someone who can experience libido, but has no desire to engage in sexual intercourse
Apothisexual - someone who is sex repulsed. They are fine with it when they aren't involved.
Demisexual - someone who can't experience sexual attraction without forming an emotional bond
Fraysexual - someone who can only experience sexual attraction to people they don't know well
Graysexual - someone who may experience sexuality infrequently or at a low intensity
(source: lqbtqia wiki)
Check out microlabels here
Asexual people may not experience sexual attraction, but they can still experience:
Romantic attraction - desiring a romantic relationship with someone
Aesthetic attraction - being attracted to someone based on how they look
Sensual/physical attraction - wanting to touch, hold, or cuddle someone
Platonic attraction - wanting to be friends with someone
Emotional attraction - wanting an emotional connection with someone
(Source: healthline)
I'll add a little faq here later and answer whatever I can :)
Finding out: I haven't experienced sexual attraction before lol. I assume allosexual people think about wanting to shag other people, and I don't get that.
Coming out to friends/family: I always joked about sex in secondary school, because I found it funny. It was something I knew about and that other people were interested in. I assume it was a shock for my friends since I always talked about sex, but I hadn't experienced sexual attraction. I'm not sure if some of my friends fully get it, but I'm happy because they're willing to learn about it. For my family, on the otherhand, that sort of thing is taboo. I literally just bought an ace flag on amazon and whacked it on my wall. My mum tolerated it, because I assume she didn't quite get it, and my dad laughed at me and called me weird, which is really weird in my opinion. You want your offspring to experience sexual attraction? He also said that anyone that would date me is a closeted gay person? Anyways, swiftly moving on...
Coming out when talking/dating: This is the part that infuriates me the most. The amount of times I have talked to someone where I would say I'm asexual and they'd respond with something stupid like "I could change that ;)" or completely disregard it all together, makes me want to scream. When dating, it was more of the same. I think it would be easier to be with another ace person, or at least someone who is open minded enough to not be a twat.
Attraction: I mainly experience platonic and aesthetic attraction.
I've been MIA for a bit. It hasn't been that long, but it feels like ages to me. I still love coding, it's just that I end up comparing myself constantly to others that it consumes me, which is weird, because I rarely do that irl.
Lately I've been trying to improve myself, rather than ignoring myself to code. I've got a weekly planner thing, and I've successfully done a day. I feel really motivated because of it. I've been waking up at 5, playing otome games (notibly soul of yokai), walking my dog and then reading until 7. I then do my usual morning routine for college. Yesterday, I bought 4 new t-shirts which is good, because I usually wear the same few on rotation, sort of like a cartoon character. I got home and made a dish I lazily call "tuna rice", which I also lazily make. It's tuna, rice, scrambled egg, kale, mushrooms, sweetcorn and whatever vegetables I find in the fridge.
I might start an online collection of recipes, some of my own, and others "borrowed" but credited. I also want to make a lists page, because I want to make TV show, games, otome games, and book trackers. Also I just love a good list.
I've been reading A Quiet Mind by Shoukei Matsumoto, and I love it so much!! I loved his book A Monk's Guide to a Clean House and Mind. I prefer reading non fiction books to be honest. People I know always try to get me to read novels, but I've never really been interested in them. Maybe I have a quite linear approach to things, but in my mind TV is for entertainment and books are for learning. I love being absorbed in a good book. I tend to read a lot of self help, psychology, business, economics and religious books.
I am buzzing! Anyways, I think that's it for today. I may or may not update this website soon, idk. I hope you have a great day!!
fin.
I made these site awards, feel free to add them to your site!!
I spent way too long scrolling on cursors-4u.com lmao. Here's just a few that I've downloaded so far:
Fanlistings I'm in!!
Pending fanlistings: - pls let me in :')
Super cool webmasters who have followed me on neocities and/or added my button to their website. If you've recently gotten/changed your button, and would like to change how you're presented here, drop me a message in my cbox or on my neocities profile.
+ anarchy2hot, beabato, caesár, carve, chobitz, cutopia, hunipyon, kanna's dungeon, narodnostal, newflesh, saiv, peesee, pearls, xomii, zeroshiki
Welcome to my little house of thoughts on the internet. On here I rant about my interests and share links to things I find cool. I've been coding on neocities since march 2021, and I decided to stop working on my other website and start fresh here. I hope you enjoy your stay :3
This page is under construction! Navigation wise, links are all contained in these [+] thingies for now. I'll eventually replace them with pixels.
I hope you're having a great day! Don't forget to drink water. Any questions/queries, contact me through my cbox or message me on instagram.
Link me:
